Survivor, Rosie, Chicago - what's not to like?

Oh my god. I just had to lead with this picture though I know I'm getting ahead of myself. (I just couldn't wait!) I'm putting it up every day until Sunday, when "Riding the Bus with my Sister" airs on CBS. I nearly sh*t my pants laughing when I saw the preview and I'm not ashamed to admit the deed. I'm sorry if that makes me shallow, I really am, but Rosie O has never looked more comfortable in a role. (Ducking.) Personally, I'm sure this show will make The Telly Nelly cry big, wet, soppy tears - it's just the type of hokey crapola that gets me going. I'm a sucker for the disabled, I really am. (Why, Rosie almost looks pleasant, now doesn't she?) More about this special movie, which showcases the enormous talent of Rosie O'Donnell, on Sunday, I promise.

Katie from "Survivor: Palau" must go - not only is she a pain in the neck, she's a bitchy little homophobe, using Ian's need for a good washing as an excuse to air a little grudge on Palau. Perhaps you missed it - Ian, who hasn't bathed since setting foot on the island, decided to do just that after host Jeff Probst told him he reeked. While he was out in the water (clothed mind you) he asked business consultant Gregg (yeah, two 'g's) to scrub his back because he couldn't reach it. And he did.

Homosexuals! Homosexuals they all cried! (Well, not really, but practically.) Nanny whats-her-name who's a snugly with Gregg thought it odd - if they needed a back washed, why not just return to shore and get a girl? Yes, why not go all the way to shore, just to give one of you skinny girl-sticks something to do? Absurd! (Try doing something besides sunning your ass and eating coconuts all day sweetie.) Anyhow, that brought Katie to think Ian and Gregg might have a "super secret" alliance, a.k.a. a homosexual relationship.

Again, absurd. If anyone has a secret homosexual relationship, it's Jeff Probst and whatever pretty young thing he clings to when the cameras aren't rolling. *giggle* Yes, I'm just as bad. But luckily (for now) I'm not on network TV and can say such things. So I'll say this - grown women teasing grown men about sexuality is just as cruel as when young children do the deed. Men hardly need an excuse to get all bent out of shape about how others perceive them sexually - but I suppose if taunting and intimidating are your only weapons, resulting to mud-slinging might be the only way to win the game.

Good luck girls - you had your shot last night - an all-girl alliance would have been a very smart move. Now you've got to deal with all the strong men, and you don't have a strong female contender among you...silly little things. Kiss your millions goodbye!

Whats on Tonight?

Ugh - another dreary Friday night on television! Apart from the always delightful "What Not to Wear" on The Learning Channel (TLC) at 9 p.m., what's a boy to watch? Well, there's always "Sheer Dallas" on TLC at 10 p.m. if you're too lazy to change the channel - in tonight's episode Lance and Billy have the epic weight-loss battle; if Billy looses (unlikely) he'll have to ride around Dallas wearing nothing but a pink spandex bodysuit and a blond wig! Why? Because that's what passes for fun in Texas! (Yes my dears, they are twisted little nuts.)

If you're so over reality television shows, check out a new classic, "Chicago" on Encore at 8 p.m. As you should know, it's a remake of the Broadway hit that finds Renee Zellweger and Catherine Zeta-Jones  in jail. Foxy musical numbers, a semi-sapphic jail warden (portrayed wonderfully by Queen Latifah), and even Richard Gere make this a film to remember - if you haven't seen it yet, you really should! (Don't let it give you any ideas...)